An Eventful Summer

Ah summertime… The time that families go on vacation, Kids run around all day, high schoolers sit around the house doing nothing, Moms get frustrated with their kids and send them outside, college students attempt to find jobs so that they can make money to stay in school, ah… summertime.

In the past I have always gone up to Alaska and worked as a fisherman up there in the summer time, ever since coming to the states that is. But this year I did something different. This year I worked at the Anchorage Christian Camp in North Carolina. It was a good experience. The Lord used it to teach me some things and to really help me grow.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First off, yes, I was working at the Anchorage, I was working as one of their counselors. Now at first I thought that working as a counselor was going to be all fun and games. I mean, when I was a camper I saw the counselors and they looked like that were just playing the games with us all the times and having fun. It wasn't until I actually became one that I realized just how much work and stress a counselor actually has and goes through.

First off, the work and stress of teaching two Bible lessons each day. The God and I time lesson in the morning and night devotions in the evening. The God and I time was the easier of the two because they already had a lesson mapped out for you, so you didn't have to work on preparing anything, but it still requires work to teach it and to make sure you are going through the lesson at the right pace so that you will finish on time and making sure that all of the campers are paying attention and participating and not zoning out. Many things go into both of those lessons and make them quite a handful.

Second, there is a lot of stress just making your campers be quiet when they are supposed to be quiet, and active when they are supposed to be active. Neither teen campers nor junior campers particularly cared for settling down in the evening. They wanted to continue with their joke telling and giggling (Yes, the guy campers giggled.) and laughing uncontrollably. The last thing that they wanted to do was settle down and go to sleep, you must be crazy. "We could stay up all night, we aren't tired." Is a comment one of the campers made. They were very short sighted though because the next morning when you went to get them up they were convinced that they still needed at least 10 more hours of sleep. I would even explain to them when it was time to go to bed that if they didn't settle down and go to sleep, they would be too tired to get up in the morning. Then I would tell them that if they DID just settled down and go to sleep then they wouldn't have so much trouble getting up in the morning. That didn't seem to make sense to them. Oh well, maybe they'll understand when they hit college. =P

Third, there was a lot of stress with always having to be with your campers. Now, I generally liked my campers, but I'm the kind of guy who also likes his own personal time. I like to be able to lock myself up in a room and read, or just have my own peace and quiet for a little bit. And at camp, that didn't happen during the day. If I wanted quiet time I would have to get it before everyone else got out of bed, because once they did, there was no quiet time at all.

Fourth, goes along pretty closely with the third, but there was a lot of stress with not being able to do the things that I wanted to do, and having obligations and things that I needed to be doing  16½ hours a day 6 days a week. There are a couple things that I really like to do during a day, and try to do as often as possible. Things like reading Christian books, (Like, "The Pursuit of Holiness," "The Measure of a Man," or "Know Why You Believe.) and exercising, and reading my Bible, and praying. But at camp there really wasn't time for "luxuries" like that once the day got started, so if I wanted time to indulge in those things then I would have to do them before it was time for my campers to rise. If I wanted to read my Bible and pray then I would have to get up at 6:20, if I wanted to go running prior to my Bible reading and prayer time, I would get up at 5:50 and cut my devotion time down by about 10 minutes or so. But reading other books, like Pursuit of Holiness, and Know Why You Believe, had to wait for the weekends though, because there simply wasn't time during the week.

But those were about all of the major stressors. There were many thing that were huge blessings and very enjoyable. For example, one thing that I was expecting to be a stressor which actually wasn't, lack of sleep. I was expecting lack of sleep and tiredness to be a major problem at camp, but after college, the amount of sleep I was getting there at camp seemed perfectly adequate. Another thing that I really enjoyed was just the fellowship with the other staff members on the weekends and such. We were able to bond together both through spiritual conversations and just plain "hanging out" and having fun. Many things just jumped out and took ordinary objects and everyday activities and used them to point out and exalt the one and only Lord and Savior. It was amazing how God used so many things just to draw our attentions back to Himself and bless us through the process.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed running around and playing games and interacting with the kids. I'm not trying to say that I didn't. I'm just saying that counseling is not "all" fun and games like it may appear to be from the camper's perspective.

Though I may have had some stressful times, I had many, many other times that were great blessings. Every single time I was able to go back with one of my campers after a service and talk to him about salvation or just living rightly before God, I consider a wonderful blessing that can't really be fully described with words. Those times would bring an overwhelming sense of joy and fear and excitement all at the same time. I would feel inadequate and unqualified to be trying to "counsel" this kid, even though that was by job description. But at the same time I would feel overwhelmed with excitement, that God would allow me, ME, to be able to talk to this kid and help him make a decision for God that hopefully he will keep and it will guide him in the right way, so that he would not stray and fall away. The fact that God was allowing me to aid these campers in their spiritual walks, was just an overwhelming truth that I had to step back and thank Him for.

So, being able to counsel kids and share God's Word with them was definitely one of my favorite things of the summer, but one of the other things that I truly enjoyed was the free times on the weekends. Remember how I mentioned earlier that during the week we had no free time at all? Well it was pretty much the opposite of that on the weekends, after we had everything cleaned up and taken care of we really didn't have anything to do. Now some people went to the water and did stuff, or went to town and did stuff, but I typically didn't go along, and that was my own choice. We didn't have our computers to do stuff with or anything like that even. But I was very glad that there was nothing to do, because then I was finally able to do some of the things that I had been wanting to do, like read. I was able to read books like "The Pursuit of Holiness," and "The Five Love Languages," and "Be Determined." Good books. I set up my "study" in the snack shop and just read. I would read, and read, and read for hours on end. It was amazing, no distractions, no other obligations, nothing. I was able to learn so much this summer just from the books that I was able to read.

I was a great blessing to be able to hide myself away and spend so much time reading spiritually uplifting and encouraging books, but that certainly wasn't the only time that God was teaching me things, as I mentioned earlier God was teaching me many things during the weeks as well, through the kids and other staff members. All in all, it was an excellent summer. Nothing is perfect or ideal, since we live in a fallen world, but this summer was pretty close. =) I just can't thank God enough for what He did in the lives of the campers, or in my own life for that matter. 

My summer was full, and busy, but it was a blessing, I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I thank the Lord that He knows exactly what I need, when I need it, and gives it to me.

Psalm 145:1-3,8-9

    I will extol Thee, my God, O King,

         And I will bless Thy name forever and ever.

    Every day I will bless Thee,

         And I will praise Thy name forever and ever.

    Great is the LORD, and highly to be praised,

         And His greatness is unsearchable.

    The LORD is gracious and merciful;

         Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.

    The LORD is good to all,

         And His mercies are over all His works.

This is Tim, until next time.

An Unexpected Complication

If you are like most people who have never had any serious health problems in the past, you probably don't really consider the possibility of waking up one morning and finding yourself lying in a stretcher, inside of an ambulance with sirens blazing, rushing to the nearest hospital at top speed. Neither did I.

But at 10:35 a.m. on Sunday morning, March 7th, 2010 I had that very thing happen to me. I woke up, lying on my back, looking up at an EMT. He explained to me that I had had a seizure, and that they were taking me to the hospital. He said that I seemed to be ok, and would probably be fine.

Many thoughts were running through my head. At first I thought that he was joking with me. A seizure!? I mean, come on. I've never had a seizure before, that doesn't make sense. But I quickly realized that he was serious. Next I thought that it might be a dream. But I thought about it, and it was "too real" to be a dream. So, I just lay there, confused, not really sure what to think.

When we got to the hospital they wheeled me out of the ambulance, through the extirior doors, through several hallways, through some other doors, and finally into my room.  Then they transferred me to my hospital bed. By this time I had regained some of my strength, so I was able to help them out while they were moving me over to the other bed. Then the nurse came in and checked my vitals and some other things. Everything seemed to be normal.

After some time the doctor came in and explained that it's not uncommon for an adult to have one seizure in the course of his life, so they weren't going to prescribe any medicine this time. They let me go about 2 p.m. My brother, Jeremiah, was there with me, at the hospital as well as my dorm counselor so my dorm counselor drove us back to campus. I went back to bed and slept for a couple hours. Seizures are quite exhausting after all. After my nap I started on my homework for my classes on Monday. School doesn't slow down for anything, not even seizures.  =)

I had some doctor's appointments to get an MRI and an EEG, and some other stuff to try to find out what was causing my seizures. The MRI and EEG both didn't show anything, which I suppose is a good thing, it meant that I didn't have any tumors or unusual brain activity. 

I went along fine until April 11th when I had my second seizure. I woke up as they were transferring me from my bed to the stretcher, then I don't remember anything else until we arrived at the hospital. I think that I actually got the same room as the time before, room 9. They did the same things that they did last time, only this time they prescribed me some medicine, 1000mg of Keppra daily.

Everything seemed to be going pretty well after that for a while. My memory verses were taking a whole lot more effort to memorize, but I didn't really think about it at the time, I just figured that they were harder verses. I would also sometimes not remember things that I said, or did. People would tell me an inside joke that I was supposed to get, but I couldn't remember it. Once they explained it to me, I would remember though.

My grades in all of my classes took a noticeable dive. For example, Biblical Church Leadership, I was getting a 98% in the class up until I was put on medication. The class is basically rouge memory work. If you can learn the notes and be able to spit them back out then you'll be fine on the test. On my first test I got about a 94%, and the first verse test I got 97%. That test was before the medication, but after my first seizure. I studied a little bit more for the next test and got a 61%, and I studied 2 and a half times for more for the second verse test, and I got 50%. Since I had been doing well on the homework and the verse quizzes I managed to not absolutely kill my grade and keep my "A." But those two tests alone brought my grade down from a 98% to a 90.7%, but it was still an "A" so I didn't complain, just thanked God that he kept it at an "A."

I still hadn't figured out that it was the medicine that was causing these problem. I just figured that for some strange reason things weren't "sticking." I didn't even consider the fact that it might be the medicine causing these problems until my mom informed me that those are all possible side effects of Keppra.  It was at this point that I put 2 and 2 together and ended up with 4. I realized that it was the medicine that was causing my memory problems and all that. I still continued to take it because that's what I was supposed to do, but I was glad to have found the source of the problems.

I had another seizure on the Tuesday of Finals week, that wasn't much fun. Same routine, went to the hospital, they decided that nothing was that wrong and let me go. So, I've had 3 trips to the hospital, but I've actually had more seizures than that. At the time I didn't realize that they were seizures it just felt like I had had a load of bricks dropped on me while I was sleeping. But I had the exact same symptoms: feeling like my legs were half-way paralyzed, small red spots on my face, exhaustion, and grogginess. All in all, I've probably had 7 or 8 seizures starting back in November.

So that's my seizure story. My most recent was this past Saturday morning. I woke up lying on the floor, and by the time I made to the bathroom I had figured out that I had had a seizure that morning. I've only had seizures while asleep so it isn't really that bad. The day of the seizure I don't feel so great, but by the next day I'm feeling basically back to normal.

I dislike pills. I won't take a pain pill if I have a headache unless it's really, really, really bad. I don't really have a good reason, I just dislike medicine, it's one of my few completely irrational behaviors. But I have been "learning to get over it" I guess, now that I have become a pill popper. =)

This is Tim, signing out.

(None of the pictures in this post are mine, credit goes to Google images.)

I Can Do All Things Through Christ

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Phil. 4:13)
This semester I took a class that drove me to claim this verse as my own. A class that made me face something that has been something that I have feared ever since my early years growing up. Thatwould be the fear of water, and the class would be lifeguarding class.

Hold on. Why in the world would someone who is afraid of water take a lifeguarding class? That's just stupid. =\ Yeah. . . you're probably right. But that's just what I do.

I had a good reason though. I'm going to be counseling at a camp this summer and the camp is right on a lake and it's good for the camp's insurance rates if all of their counselors are certified lifeguards. The camp actually offers a lifeguarding crash course so technically I could have gotten certified at camp. But there is no way that I would have been able to pass the examination. So originally I was just looking for a swimming class so that I could learn how to swim so that I could pass the life guarding class at the camp. Sadly, BJ doesn't offer any swimming classes, so I had to go for the next best thing, lifeguarding class. =P

Now, my fear of water was not that I would freak out when I would see water, or anything like that, but when I would submerge my head, my heart rate would increase rapidly and my whole chest area would lock up. Which is why I could not do underwater breath holding contests because even though I could hold my breath for slightly over a minute on land, under water that would drop to about 20 seconds.

Technically I guess you could say that I already knew how to swim. I could get from one side of the pool to the other. But the manner in which I would do so was with much splashing and keeping my head out of the water at all times. If I put my face down in the water I would not be able to get the air that I needed. The whole - exhale underwater, turn your face to the side, breathe, and then repeat - thing was not working for me. First off I could not exhale while under water. It would take all of my conscious thought just to keep my lungs from locking up and to exhale in a controlled manner, so I couldn't breath out and keep swimming at the same time. Secondly, when I did turn my face to the side and breathe in, I would inevitably suck in an amount of water with the air, which would not only hinder my breathing, but it would also hurt, since now I have chlorine and salt water rushing down my breathing tube, which never feels good. Part of our homework was to swim 300 yards, 12 lengths, twice a week. Given enough time I could get back and forth 12 times in that pool but it would take a great deal of effort.

I claimed Philippians 4:13 as my verse for this task, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (NASB). At the beginning of the semester many times I went to the pool and spent a good hour just practiced breathing. I would take a breath, put my face under the water and breathe out. Practicing and practicing for multiple hours just to learn to breath naturally and be able to do it without thinking about it. I probably looked pretty ridiculous to the lifeguards on duty, standing there in the shallow end doing nothing but blowing bubbles the whole time.

Eventually I got good enough at breathing that I advanced to the next step and swam and breathed at the same time. After a couple weeks I finally figured out how to not suck in water when breathing in, that helped me swim quite a but better. I figured out that I needed to exhale most of my air with my face underwater, but still keep a little bit of air so that when I turned my face to breathe in I could blow out that last bit of air which would blow away all the water right around my mouth. Then when I breathed in, I didn't suck in water.

After I learned how to breath well enough to not inhale a bunch of water, I worked on my stroke. I sought advise from friends of mine who swim, and then the internet as well. I tried some different things and saw what seemed to help and what didn't. I got better and better, still far from the model of perfection, but I was still improving. By the end of the class I felt pretty confident that if someone were in the pool, drowning, I would be able to jump in and save him.

I'd say that the most memorable part of the whole class was during the final swim test. We swam a timed 300 for a grade. 7:30 and faster was an A, 9:30 and faster was a B, then 11:30 and faster a C, and so on. I really wanted a 9:30, but that was faster than I had ever swum in practice. I practiced and practiced, and the fastest that I could get was 10:37. =( Hoping that I would get an extra adrenaline boost when doing the real thing I still hoped for 9:30, but I realized that it might not happen.

The day came for the final swim test. 24 half-naked guys stood around the pool while Mr. Miller gave some last minute instructions. We got into 3 different waves. After everyone from the first wave finished, the second wave would go, and so on. Knowing that I was the slowest in the class, I got in the 3rd wave, so that I wouldn't hold up the other waves. I helped count laps for the first 2 waves, then when it came my time to go, I could feel my heart pounding. I stepped back, took some deep breaths, said a quick prayer, then readied myself to go. I can't remember whether he used a whistle or just shouted "Go!," but either way, at the signal, I lunged forward and stated my trek. One! Two! Three! Four! Breathe! One! Two! Three! Four! Breathe! I splashed along. I quickly ran short on breath, so I switched to 3 strokes per breath instead of 4. One! Two! Three! Breathe! First 100 yards down.

Now I have to switch to the breast stroke (also known as the frog stroke) for the next 100 yards. Kick! Stroke! Breathe! Kick! Stroke! Breathe! I reach the half way point and my legs feel like jell-o, but I keep going. I reach 200 yards. Now I switch back to the front crawl. One! Two! Three! Breathe! By now, most of the others are done. I finish one length, 75 yards to go. My arms and legs feel like they are about to fall off, but I keep going. One! Two! Three! Breathe! By the time I finish my second length everyone else is done. 50 yards to go. I stop for a couple seconds to try and catch my breath. I hear Lance Souza, my lap counter, encouraging me to keep going. The rest of the guys join in the shouting.

I push off from the wall to finish my last 50 yards. One! Two! Three! Breathe! My lunges have an intense craving for more oxygen. Gasping for breath, I switch to 2 strokes per breath. One! Two! Breathe! One Two! Breathe! One! Two! Breathe! Every muscle in my body aches, begging me to stop. I reach the other end of the pool. Need. More. Oxygen. Says my body. I take 3 deep breaths then push off to finish my last 25 yards. One! Two! Breathe! One! Two! Breathe! Hand after hand, leg after leg, pushing and kicking with all my might. Gasping for breath, I press towards the mark. Half way there! One! Two! Gasp! One! Two! Gasp! I catch a glimpse of the guys cheering me on. All 24 of them standing there watching me press on. I've got to keep going. Hand over hand. I can see the end. Almost there! I give my final kick and reach forward. My hand makes contact with the wall. I grab hold of it and pull my head out of the water and gasp for the sweet oxygen that I have been so deprived of. All the guys cheer. I remain there in the water, holding on to the side of the pool not by choice, but rather because I lack the strength to even pull my body out of the water. But I had finished.

Mr. Miller dismissed the guys and after I minute or two I had regained the strength to pull my bone weary, muscle sore body out of the water. I then sat on the edge of the pool for probably a whole minute before standing up. While sitting there, Mr. Miller informed me of my finishing time, 9 minutes, 52 seconds. Not the 9:30 I had hoped for, but still considerably faster than I had ever swum it before. And considering how I was doing only a couple months before, a tremendous success.

Way back on our second day of class we had a swimming test (not graded) just to see where everyone was coming from. I was far and away the slowest in the class coming in at 20 minutes or so. Other's times were anywhere from 5 to 12 minute. By the midterm swim test I had improved quite a bit, making my time an almost decent 12:31 min:sec. And now, for the final 9:52. I would consider that a success. I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Sitting back in my room I thought back to the many times I was in the pool, standing there in the shallow end, practicing inhaling and exhaling, feeling frustrated, and praying to God. "Lord, I thought that this was Your will for me, but I'm just not getting it. I know that You want me to work at camp as a counselor this summer, but I'm just not getting this swimming thing down. Why? Why isn't this working? Lord, help me. Lord, I need You." He did allow me to get it though. Slowly, but He did. And through it He taught me patience and endurance.

I now knew by experience, that the words of James 1:2-3 (NASB) are true.
2Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

At the time I wasn't considering it joy to be struggling so much with swimming. But now, looking back, I do. I see that the Lord was doing a work in me and for that I am very, very thankful, and I rejoice and praise Him for it. Praise be to God!

Tim

P.S. Now that I've been able to conquer my Hydrophobia, I'm going to work on my Consecotaleophobia, Venustraphobia, and Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. =P

*Quick disclaimer: None of the pictures here were taken by me, or any they of me, I just found them on the internet to break up an otherwise aesthetically lacking post. =)